GET BACK UP and LIVE LIFE WITH JOY !!

It’s that time of the year when most people have abandoned their new year’s resolution. The gym and fitness population has significantly dropped, and  you can easily find a treadmill, or elliptical machine to get on.

So what if you took a break from your goal. Who said you can’t start back up.  We fall and we get back up. We get knocked down and we get back up. We slip and we get back up. That’s life.  Each time we fall we learn what caused us to fall and we avoid it. Each time we get knocked down we learn what caused us to get knocked down so we avoid that punch the next time. It’s a learning process. What if babies stop getting up because they fell while learning how to stand or walk ? We will never know, because they never stop getting up !

There is joy in realizing that we aren't just being knocked down, slipping, and falling down, but that we're also being empowered by the knowledge we are learning about ourselves and the challenge we are facing.

In order to fully experience that joy we need to set ourselves up for success.  In the book Live Life With Joy by Joy Pearson, Joy talks about Flat Tires. Joy reminds us that “giving up on your goal because of one setback is like slashing your other three tires because you got a flat."

Don’t avoid your opportunities or give up on your goals just because things are getting tough, the road turns, a road block occurs, or the weather changes.  Take a different route, stay determined, weather the storm.  Joy Pearson says “The biggest issue is not that you have the flat, but whether you fail to change the tire. “  Get out and change that tire !!  Call a friend, or reach out to someone who can assist you in changing that tire in your life so you can get back on the road.  Don’t sit forever on the side of the road of life watching everyone going toward their destination.  Do something to address the problem and get back on the road.

To experience the joy’s in life we must be willing to overcome the challenges that stand between us and those joy’s. Joy Pearson says there’s always going to be traffic. Sometimes that traffic will be heavy, congested, and slow. Others times it will be free flowing and moving just the way we want it. Just because the traffic gets nasty doesn't mean we change our destination. Just because the GPS stops working doesn't mean we cancel our appointment.  Just because the price of gas goes up doesn't mean we stop driving. Our destination is the goal. Never let the bumps in the road change your determination for your destination.

Please check out Joy Pearson's book Live Life with Joy. It is inspiring and packed with stories we can all relate to. 

Top Flight Security Blessing Blockers

In the movie "Friday After Next" The characters Craig and Day-Day have jobs as strip mall security officers. They are hilarious but extremely awful at their job. Day-Day goes out of his way to try and use his so called authority to restrict the movement of the mall patrons. Every attempt brings him conflict and misery.


Some of us are Top Flight Security blessing blockers.




Often times for no reason at all, or for reasons that weaken our positive purpose, we hold back on information, opportunities, and connections that would aid in blessing someone else.


Maybe we aren't a  normally negative person, but for some reason we refuse to put forth the effort to see someone else blossom. Deep down inside there is a feeling in many of us that we don't feel like seeing others we know succeed, especially during times when we are struggling.


There is a devilish function that lies within many people who appreciate seeing others in misery, struggle or pain in order to not feel as bad about their own situation. Knowing that they are not alone in their frustration brings them a disturbing kind comfort.


This type of thought is rampant among people no matter the religion, color, race, sex, or political party. People love people like themselves. People love reflections of themselves. People for the most part do not like to be alone. People do not appreciate anything that may shed negativity on them.  On many occasions people feel that they look bad when others are succeeding, or doing well and they themselves are suffering from their own excuses, procrastination, bad decisions or just bad luck. Therefore anytime they can prevent the creation of those negative feelings within themselves by hindering another's success either through action or passiveness they will do so.


However, the universe is a funny place. It has been proven over and over again that no matter how much you stand in someone's way, refuse to assist them, or stand by watching but not helping ...if that person is destined to be blessed, that blessing will come to them with or without you.


In addition it pays greatly to give freely, because this same universe has a way of returning what is given. In supply and logistics it is a known rule that any inventory you hold on to must be accounted for,  warehoused, and accrues a fee to maintain it.  Well, those negative feelings of stress, misery, animosity, jealousy, greed or contempt are emotions that run rampant in the warehouse of our hearts and minds. Keeping track of those "damaged goods"  is like carrying around a wet paper bag of groceries with heavy spoiled products. It's a burden we created, insist on carrying, and pay for daily.


This year, 2015, bless somebody ! Give freely. Give because you can. Do not expect anything back. Free yourself of the "you versus me" attitudes. There is no reason to compete or compare because each one of us are unique and special.


Feel good that you are able to contribute to someone else. Acknowledge the creativity that can come through you when you create ways of giving, even when you were so sure you couldn't.


A greater you is a giving you.


Don't find an excuse. Find a way."

Are You Hungry For Something NEW In 2015 ?

  We want change. We want our situations to improve. We want brighter days. However the gravitational pull of the habits we are use to, the people we are comfortable with, and environments we are use to being in seems to hold us so tightly that we remain bonded to them. Our minds constantly think about changing or leaving but our physical movements, like our commutes, conversations, hangout spots, reading and visual entertainment rarely changes. So the result is.... we do not change.


This week my daughter and I were out, and decided to venture away from familiar restaurants and find some where new to eat.  We found a small new restaurant away from all the rest of the stores in historical down Fredericksburg, Virginia. In a historic house made in to a restaurant we found Darby O'Sullivan's. The restaurant had only been open for 2 months. We knew nothing about it. Me and my daughter looked at each other and decided to try it.


We could have stuck with an establishment we were familiar with. We could have remained in our comfort zone. We could have accepted what we have always known, and refused to grow.

We were extremely impressed with the 7 BBQ sauces the waiter brought out to us...Kansas City, Memphis, Bourbon, Root Beer, sweet and spicy, spicy maple peach, and regular BBQ. I salivated like a dog when the generously piled pulled pork sandwich came out, with the homemade hush puppies, potato salad and bake beans. Oh boy !! 


Before each bite I put a different sauce on the meat exposed at the top of my sandwich. What an experience ! My tongue was on a joy ride. Surprising the Root Beer sauce was very good ! I was enjoying my meal. I wasn't just eating it, I was experiencing it. I bit in to each hush puppy with delight. ! No fresh out of a cardboard box and thrown in to the fryer taste here. Homemade !


I couldn't believe the crispiness, freshness and large portion of fish and chips my daughter received !! It was like eating from your Grandma's kitchen. I'm still wondering how my daughter put away that much food. She usually complains and comments with negativity about almost anything. When she had nothing but accolades about her meal I knew it wasn't just me. Darby O'Sullivan's is a winner !!!


This was just a simple restaurant experience and quality family time with my daughter. Just  imagine what can happen in life when step out of our comfort zone in bigger ways. It all starts with something small. What are we cheating ourselves out of when we refuse to break free from that gravitational pull of everything we are so used to. What EXCITEMENT, what GREATNESS, what JOY, what EMPOWERMENT, and what FREEDOM is out there waiting for you ?


It can be yours if you are just willing to break free. Try something NEW today !!


A new friend


A new restaurant


A new work out spot


A new class


A new vacation spot


A new job


A new hobby


A new relationship


a new position


a new neighborhood


You could possibly experience a new life !!


Darby O'Sullivans

• 303 Facquier St
• Fredericksburg, Va

The Happiness Slave Trade

  

In John Maxwell's book  "Today Matters" he says "The Thoughts in your mind will always be more important than the things in your life." What a powerful and impactful statement. Each day we make decisions on how we spend our time. We make a conscious effort to decide who to establish relationships with and who to discontinue spending time with. We decide where we will spend our time working, relaxing and living.  Each one of these decisions have a strong affect on our thoughts.


How do you feel when you spend time at a place you don't want to be ? How do you feel when you're in the company of some one who upsets you the majority of the time or you don't care for?   These people and places that we immediately think of bring about emotions of stress, aggravation, anger, sadness, depression, fear, and discontent.


Despite how we feel about these people and environments too many of us CHOOSE on a daily basis to spend our time in these environments and with these people.  Some of us go to places of employment that we dread going to. We wake up in the morning and drag ourselves to these places of employment we dislike. Immediately our emotions are poisoned with negativity. The traffic appears more overwhelming than if we were going else where. Our veins seem to pump with impurities that make our fingers grip the steering wheel with enough intensity to separate the soul from the body if it were someone's neck.  Our lungs take in oxygen but mix with an invisible element of tension and disturbance that intensify how we feel. Now we are not only feeling the negativity, we are
unknowingly emitting it.


Others of us are willingly re-inviting our selves each day in to the presence of people who have harmed, hurt, betrayed, or mistreated us. When we are away from them we feel a great sense of relief. On our way to see them we strategize on how WE can make the situation better by going above and beyond, not pissing them off, staying out of their way, being precaution, or not saying anything when they act inappropriately.


What kind of thoughts are we creating in our mind when subject ourselves to such treatments and environments ? Some of us feel extremely overwhelmed, stressed out, on the brink of loosing it, mentally enslaved, or even suicidal. Pressure busts pipes. When the pressure is too much we seek to immediately eliminate the pain. Sometimes the release measures we spontaneously choose are not safe for us or others.


When we are stressed, the money no longer has the value it once had or brings the happiness we thought it would. The expensive house and nice neighborhood no longer enchants and welcomes us when turn in to our cult-de-sac. The luxury vehicle not longer excites us or provides the driving experience it once did when our mind is distracted by a lack of peace of mind, and a level of dissatisfaction that only a higher power could understand.


We have the power to influence our thoughts by placing ourselves in places and among people who support the positivity and happiness we desire.  We are empowered to choose and change. A person lacking material wealth but peace of mind can smile and go about their day, in way that would make a rich man with worries on the brink of a nervous breakdown envious.


What courageous decision are you willing to make in 2015 that will separate you from places and people that bring you down and instead connect you with people and places that uplift you and support your happiness ?

The Power of Our Words

We are often very aware of how the words of others affect us. The way they raise our emotions. The way a few simple words can lift our spirits and have us mentally floating in bliss all day. Or maybe the way some words linger in our mind like the tragic scene from an accident. At times someone's words can be like a crippling poison that paralyzes our ambition, disrupts our focus, and forever deforms us like crushed aluminum foil, that never can be returned to its original smoothness without the crinkles. Sometimes the right words can seem like a steroid that charges our spirit with motivation and inspiration, and energizes us to accomplish things we procrastinated doing or just didn't have the courage to do.

If words could be traced by a computer as they enter our ears and minds we would see powerful colors with intense shades and hues. We would see everything from pitch onyx black, to bright Sunkist orange, or a relaxing Carolina blue that was suddenly pierced by a crimson red as ran from our head and transitioned to our heart.

They aren't slaps, kicks, punches, kisses, caresses, or hugs but the way words affect us they might as well be sometimes. We are so aware of how the words of others fall down on us like rain. We wait for them, expect them, are surprised by them, uplifted by them, dumbfounded by them and even mentally frozen in time by them.


When the energy of the words overwhelm us, and overflows within us, we will often discharge how they make us feel through our mouths. Often times with more emotional articulation than intelligence we will discharge an arsenal of verbal weaponry intended to damage and disrupt the emotions of a another.


Sometimes we plot and plan and choose wisely the right words to inspire, cheer up, manipulate, convince, corrupt or dismantle the spirit of another. Other times we are foolishly unaware of how a casual "you look nice" livens the heart, or how a nonchalant  "no" pours like water and outs a barely lit candle.


I have learned over time, how harsh and hurtful my words can come across to others, especially loved ones, even when I have no intention of hurting them. Often times I feel so misunderstood.  A perceived harmless email, casual conversation or remark often packs the power of a round house right punch when I thought it was coming across as a firm grasp on the shoulder. Obviously there is much work to be done on my choice of words and the delivery of them.


I'm sure you are aware of how the words or others affect you. Have you ever thought how your words no matter how casual, affect others ?


Please share your thoughts.


 

Challenging and Difficult People. Why Are They In Our Lives ?

        Do you have those one or two persons in your life that even the mention of their names make you cringe ?  The sound of their voice annoys you, or just their presence in the room with you is enough to make you tense up, boil in anger, stress out or just want to leave. They have done things to you in the past and may continue to do things that baffle, anger, annoy and bother you to the core of your soul. You know exactly who they are. You are thinking of them now as you read this. You can picture their face, their expressions, and you can remember some of the things that make them so unfavorable to you.


Why are they in our lives. What is their purpose. Someone please explain !!


 A seed planted in the dirt is opposed by the ground it must break through in order to receive sunlight. That seed must be kept underground until it grows some roots and a stem that will push through the surface. Once the stem breaks the surface it must face the elements of the weather, winds, rain, and sun.


At each stage the plant is challenged by something that appears to oppose it,  but is needed to assist it in growing. However, too tough a soil will not allow the plant to break through the surface. Too much water will wash away the mineral and nutrients in the soil. Too much sun will dehydrate the plant and kill it.


Too much of any one thing is detrimental and requires change to ensure survival and further development.

A battered woman in a verbally and/or physically abusive relationship gets to a breaking point. She finds courage deep within her she never knew she had and she leaves. She taps in to that courage again and again to get a degree, start a business, buy a home and find a healthy relationship that is emotionally rewarding.


An employee is unrewarded, unappreciated, under-compensated year after year by a selfish and self-centered boss. 5 days a week they commute 90 minutes to this job that is financially sufficient, but emotionally draining. Like a chess piece the employee is mentally pushed out of their position by an opposing force. The lack or recognition and appreciation reaches a point where it is intolerable. Finally the employee leaves the job to pursue their passion in a field they have always dreamed of but were too afraid to take the leap.


The difficult and challenging people are often life's natural agitators that cause us to dig deep within us, and employ strengths and potential lying dormant that we never knew we had. Out comes unseen power, courage, talent, skills, and emotion that amaze us and those that know us when we are pushed out of our comfort zone.


Those difficult and challenging people push us out of our comfort zone.  Why does it take such pain, punishment, cruelty, harsh conditions, and suffering ?  I don't know.  However, I know that we are not born to be abused. We are born to live and be happy, and sometimes getting to our goal, achieving our happiness, and living life requires us to step out of our comfort zone.  It requires us to break free from people and situations that aren't healthy although the situation may have other rewards and benefits.


Receive their message that it's time to go and make a change. Appreciate the lesson, experience and valuable wisdom...then jump with the faith and courage of a young bird pushed from a nest. It's O.K to be scared. Jump anyway.

ONE STEP !!

I had a dream of motivating people. Talking to individuals and getting them to bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to be.  For the longest time I constantly thought about how much money it would cost to get certifications for coaching, money to take professional photographs, the extensive time it would take to network and build up a following, the fear of rejection, potential losses of investments. The list of drawbacks, procrastination and negatives went on and on.


My fears were willing to  have me struggle day after day, week after week, year after year  hoping and wishing for what I truly wanted in life.  My excuses were more than willing to have me spend my day up to my NECK in worries and problems.  Yet I wasn't willing to JUMP KNEE  deep in to an opportunity to bring about the change I wanted in my life.


My life remained on pause....a constant review of the past and my current situation I wasn't willing to change....until I took one step.  Not just thinking about making a step....I actually took a step and took ACTION.  That ACTION created MOMENTUM.  That MOMENTUM encouraged me to take another step, and more steps.


The result is that I am now an experienced speaker within Toastmasters (The international public speaking organization), was able to be featured on a live TEDx Talk event in Fredericksburg Virginia, won 1st place in a humorous speech contest, and I'm now part of the John Maxwell Team as a speaker and coach. (John Maxwell is a world recognized leadership guru, speaker, and author of over 70 books. His book "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Success" has been translated in more than 40 languages)


What you want is within your grasp. You just need to take a step !!

TAKE A BOLD STEP !!


Set a date, or do it tomorrow !!!  Write what you want to accomplish in the comment block on this blog,and then come back and tell me when you have taken the step.


You already have all the potential you need. I want to see you achieve your goal.


Life is meant to be lived, not just thought about being lived.