Monday, July 21, 2014

Understanding the Natural Oppositions We Face in Pursuit of Our Goal.



The good you are trying to create in life has no existence without the negativity that challenges it. For every force there is an opposing force. It doesn't matter if its good, evil, up, down, forward or backwards. It is always met with an opposing force. That opposing force may be the resistance of the weights in the gym as you try to lift them. It may be the challenges you face while trying to complete a task at work. It could be the natural aging process we face as we try to remain youthful with exercise, make up, and health tonics.

This natural opposition is faced by everything on this earth we live on. The prejudice,nepotism and jealousy of man may create increased opposition based on sex, race, religion, beliefs, appearance, or gender. However, no man or woman can escape the nature of opposition. It's natural. Learn to accept the fact that you will be challenged day in and day out. The greater the force and the larger the area you cover while producing this force the greater the opposing force will be. Knowledge, wisdom, and experience will dictate how well you deal with, overcome and reduce the opposing force.

See the force not as an evil but as part of the process. Realize that those individuals that oppose you may not always have your demise or unhappiness at heart, but are simply out to find or achieve their happiness and success too. The path towards your happiness may simply be in direct conflict with someone else's...no matter how wholesome or righteous either side is.

Let us learn to appreciate the dynamics and laws of nature. When we do, we will have more compassion for those that challenge us, oppose us, and stand between us and our goal.

We can than overcome them with the understanding that they are simply obstacles that become a part of our story on our journey, and not always someone or something that needs to generate hatred or evil within us in order to defeat them.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

What You Want is Acheived Outside of Your Comfort Zone !



Babies learn to walk by trying over and over again. Not by remaining on their backs and behinds. They don't continue to crawl until they are 2 and 3 years old just because they mastered the skill of crawling. The have a natural desire to progress to walking. In order to learn that important skill of walking babies will stumble, fall forward and fall backwards. Parents will help sometimes, let them stumble sometimes and allow them to fall on their own at times.

Babies are unaware of the fear of falling, do not understand the embarrassment of falling, and therefore those mental obstacles of fear and embarrassment do not get in their way of learning how to walk.

Young children and teenagers usually experience growth spurts. These growth spurts can often create pain in the bones and joints of these kids as the body stretches.

Every year school age kids change grades, classrooms, teachers, schools and curriculum. They move on to a new environment. They have mastered the skills of the previous grade therefore it is now time to move forward. If we gave in to our fears and love for our comfort zone we would remain in the same grade or school because we were comfortable with the setting, practices and people.

Ask yourself how can we develop if we aren't willing to change and experience new things by letting go of what we’re used to? Many of us adults want something greater, but are afraid to leave what we’re used to.

Unfortunately when get older and become adults we run from change. We say to ourselves:

-"I'm use to this. Why change?"
- " I don't want to leave because I know the people and the processes."
- " If I leave I will have to change, start over, and learn new skills."
-It’s going to be difficult.
-I’m scared !
-

The baby stumbles and falls, but gains the valuable skill of walking. The teenager experiences the joint pain, pimples, hormone changes, and other physical changes in order to become an adult. We go through these challenges and strange stages to blossom into very attractive and physically different adults.

Growth and Success is often uncomfortable, and full of unknowns. In order to grown and become successful we have to be willing to step out of our comfort zone. We must be willing to start new relationships, establish new contacts, learn new skills, create new experience and expose our vulnerabilities.

What you want will be achieved by stepping bravely in to unchartered waters. You will get closer to your goals step by step by exposing yourself to environments that will test you physically and mentally. You will gain courage, strength, empowerment and feelings of happiness from overcoming the challenges and obstacles you face outside of your comfort zone.

You can either be uncomfortable in your comfort zone dealing with the desire to be more, wanting more and regretting never trying or giving your best. Or you can be uncomfortable as you grow, learn, gain experiences, live life and overcome challenges as you work your way to success and happiness.

You may be scared, you may be unsure, you may feel unprepared. GO FOR IT ANYWAY !!


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The Relationship Killer

We all want successful relationships. We want to have successful relationships with our family, spouses, friend,and co-workers just to name a few. Just like anything else in life it takes constant work to ensure something remains working and doesn't deteriorate.

Communication is key to sustaining relationships. With communication comes understanding. Understanding leads to compassion and sympathy. Understanding and compassion maintains attractions and allows for positive feelings such as love.

Unfortunately many of us do not communicate. We talk to and talk at people. We do not listen to them with our full attention. We listen with the intent to respond with our next thought and opinion. We rarely listen just to understand. Keep in mind that you can understand someone without agreeing with them. When we do not understand a person it leads to assumptions, confusion, misunderstandings, anger and frustration. We open the door to these negative feelings when we lack good communication skills.

We often develop anger and frustration because we want our opinion to be heard more than we want to understand someone else. Seek to understand then to be understood. Frustration grows when we struggle to get people to adopt or understand our opinions, feelings and perspectives. Unbeknownst to us we fail at receiving the transmissions that contain the concerns of others, because we were too concerned with transmitting our message throughout numerous verbal conversations, emails and texts.

Finally when our frustration level hits a certain point we often resort to using criticism to highlight and pinpoint the issues we have with the other person in our relationships. We label their performance, personality, and actions. We pinpoint events of disapointment. We blame them for the issues that are not to our satisfaction. We repeat our negative feelings like we are the authoritative source because:

-We want others to co-sign on our feelings and take our side.
-We want to beleive what we say, and bring question to those we criticize, because questioning ourselves open up the possibility that we could be wrong.
-We want hope that our criticisms will make the person change and conform to our beliefs, so that we feel better about them and ourselves.

Criticism cannot accomplish what LOVE is supposed to do. Negative criticism cannot accomplish the tasks that are made for understanding. One way talking can never replace what communication is the definition of.

When we continuously fail to truly communicate by listening we open the door to anger, frustration, fear and slowly close the door on love, compassion and understanding. We have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Let's empower our relationships, bring back the love and improve the happiness with those we spend the most time with by communicating more and criticizing less.