At some point many of us found ourselves involved in activities, groups and doing things to get the approval of parents, friends, teachers, churches, coaches, and/or employers that we did not really want for for ourselves. As kids, teenagers and young adults many activities may have been for our good, but at the time we didn't see the great value in it.
Now you're an adult and you are still tailoring your life to appease the opinions, escape the criticism, and get the attention of certain people and groups in your life. Several times you may have said to yourself:
-I don't even like such and such,
-I'm not even interested in this,
-I'm not sure why I'm doing this
You may have followed your career path because your parents highly suggested it. You may participate in a particular religious faith to prevent any redicule, pressure or criticism you would receive from family if you told them you honestly have reservations and would like to do your own soul searching. Maybe you have always wanted to date someone of another race but never did because of what you thought your family and friends would think.
When you live your life to satisfy the opinions of others you restrain your purpose, desire and passion to a point where you suffocate your happiness, and learn to live at a level of satisfactory pleasure. You try to believe what impresses them equates to happiness for you. Many times it does not. You simply care and value their opinions too much.
You can't please everyone and won't please everyone, even at your best. Many people who will criticize you would love to break free and pursue their dream too, but are much too afraid. Ignore the critics and make one bold move !! You have lived life to please others. Now try living beyond the limits of your fear of criticism.
People were talking before you got here. They are talking now, and they will certainly be talking when you're gone. So don't let something you can't control stop you from experiencing life with your happiness as a featured story.
What a refreshing message Luke! Too many times people suffer from what I like to call the approval addiction syndrome. I personally spent too many years not liking my curly hair, my dark brown eyes, the fact that I was too short, not thin enough, and the list went on and on. I actually began to suffer from “ugly duckling syndrome.” This behavior only leads to another bad habit of “people pleasing”… to do as they say so you won’t be rejected. All this only leads to self destruction . You become confused not knowing what you are meant to do because of the expectation of others. Depression, anxiety, and a low self esteem sets in and you become - - well - MISERABLE. Many times we are misguided by our own family or friends opinions, though they want what’s best for us, we need to focus on SELF APPROVAL – SELF WORTH…truly loving who we are . Loving who you are and accepting who you are gives you the freedom to explore your true gifts and talents growing into the unique person you were meant to become. As the beautiful Maya Angelou wrote:
ReplyDelete“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love…pursue the things that you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off you.”
Great point Vicky !! We can reduce the miserable feelings in our lives be disconnecting ourselves from our self made requirement of wanting to always please and appease.
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