3 THINGS YOU WANT TO HAPPEN IN 2016

We are well in to 2016 !! People are in the gym working out, working hard at not buying another pack of cigarettes, or focused on the curriculum of a new class. Some of us are desperately trying to stick to a particular diet while drooling at the sight of a dozen donuts brought in the office, or a greasy bacon cheese burger their teenager is eating while out at a restaurant for family dinner.

No matter what your age, sex, religion, or political affiliation there are 3 things you want to accomplish in 2016 !




1.  You want to maintain and or improve a relationship you have with someone. This relationship could be with your wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, boss, co-worker, sibling...or even your divorcee that you share joint custody of your children with. No matter who it is, you want  that relationship to be better.  Relationships don't get better by accident; they get better because people invest in them. They also get worse because people procrastinate, stop, or forget to invest in them. Your relationship is an account. You need to make more deposits than withdrawals. Unfortunately we don't realize not doing anything about our relations is a withdrawal. We are often caught of guard when we are informed their is no more interest left and the principal is almost gone.

How will you prioritize those 168 valuable hours we all have each week to invest in the that relationship you value so much ?

Time is our most valuable commodity. We can't create it, we can only manage our priorities within it. Your relationship is a priority ....isn't it ?

What things are you not willing to get in the way of you maintaining or improving that relationship ?

If we value our relationships we can not allow things that are less important to constantly come before it. When the relationship is gone you will not wish for one more shift of overtime, or one more hour surfing the internet....you will want one more moment with that person.





2. Growth: There is something you want to get better at. There is a skill, profession, career, or task you want to grow in. 


What will you invest your time and resources in in order to get better ?

Are you going to go back to school and register for classes ? Are you going to start a personal reading program ? May be you will sign up and join an organization where you meet and network with other people that can share empowering information with you.

What will you stop doing in order to make time for this required growth ?

Success often requires sacrifice. You will have to carefully examine your daily agenda to ensure you are not putting things that matter more before things that matter least.





3. Health: We all want to maintain our health. No one wakes up and says I don't want to be healthy. What happens is we are often not intentional when it comes to taking action concerning our health. Therefore things that are not as important as our health take precedence and get done constantly instead of actions required to maintain or increase our health.

What health goal do you have for yourself ? Be specific. Make it a quantitative goal.

I want to lose ___ pounds

I want to run a marathon.

I want to lower my blood pressure to ________.

How would you feel if you improved an important relationship, improved your knowledge, skill and/or influence in a particular area or field, and reached a specified health goal ?

OH WHAT A FEELING ....like the old Toyota commercial.

Write down how you would feel on a index card or piece or paper not if but WHEN you accomplish these goals.  Tape or place that piece of paper some place where you will see it on a regular basis.

Sometimes doing it by ourselves is what leads to us not achieving our goal.  If the greats have someone in their corner coaching them along the way why don't you.

Professional Coaching is available.  We are dedicated to you defining and achieving your goal. Checkout the following links of certified coaches.

http://lukemotivates.com/

http://www.iamarealsuccess.com/

http://gladiatorleadership.com/

http://infiniasgroup.com/

http://www.discovernextstep.com/

FRAN'S FIGHT

Our daily battles with bills, work, child rearing, and maintaining a personal relationship can seem overwhelming. However, these daily skirmishes can be instantly dwarfed when faced with something that threatens to eclipse the benefits of any other issues and minimize the challenges of any other concerns. Imagine all the things that occupy your time and consume your day suddenly taking a backseat to something else. Everyday people like me and you get jolted with the official diagnosis from a doctor that we have cancer. We always think of it happening to the person at work, the person on television, a close friend or relative, but not us.

For the last 4 years my friend Fran has been battling cancer like a warrior. Some days are better than others. Many days were filled with questions, and a deep search for the strength and inner determination to fight when the emotional and physical tanks of energy appeared to be closer to empty and far away from full. Family, friends, so called experts, do-gooders, and pundits constantly offered their words of intended encouragement, which often could only be classified as a enigma when heard through the ears of someone diagnosed with cancer.

Still standing, still fighting is a real life Wonder Woman, mother,wife, teacher and warrior who took the time to share he raw emotions with me. As you read her words you will certainly be reminded that 2016 is a chance to transform your situation in to your opportunity despite the challenges, fears, and/or excuses you have faced or were self diagnosed.

Our warrior capabilities often time dwell deep within us, and are not manifested until we are faced with a challenge that requires a level of determination, persistence, focus, and desire to overcome...that we never could imagine we possessed.

Fran's Fight 

I began writing this story, my story, 2 months ago if not longer. I had written paragraph after paragraph of back story…misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis until the final announcement that it was nodular dermal melanoma. I painstakingly relived the surgeries and rehab and fear and then, tonight, on new years eve, I decided none of that shit is really important.

All of us have our stories. Many of our stories involve cancer. Cancer fucking sucks. But can also be a gigantic blessing. We have lived suffering. Whether it be at the hands of a disease like cancer, depression, bipolar, whatever…we have suffered. As humans, we live, we suffer, we conquer…add, rinse, repeat. I am not special. I made choices. Very conscious choices, every step of the way. I took cancer as an opportunity to find my purpose, my vision. Strangely, I was close to living that vision before my diagnosis. After, I was, and am, determined to continue living that dream. There is nothing like a life threatening illness to put shit into perspective. Period. For me, I can’t imagine coming to terms with mortality without facing it head on. I researched nodular dermal melanoma. I listened to my doctors. I followed protocol and sought out alternative treatment as well, to compliment my recovery and cancer fighting defenses! All along the way, making conscious choices to do my best, period.

Even at my darkest, I refused to give up hope. I knew the statistics and knew I had to keep doing what I was doing…no matter how hard. Recovery is hard. Re-entering the work place is hard. Living in fear is fucking hard. So, consciously, I worked on facing that fear and remembering that I had a purpose. I sought out help through a not so local cancer center and identified 3 daily affirmations:

I am healthy.

I am strong.

I am living my purpose.

I said these three mantras daily, multiple times daily when I began working again. Today, I say them daily, at least. My reminders.

I am no different from anyone else. I just choose not to let life pass me by. Our lives had become somewhat complacent. Happy but complacent. Cancer kicked us all in the ass. And its by no means over.  But we have only just started living again and my purpose is stronger than ever. All that time off recovering allowed for more than just inner dialogue…I have plans, big plans! I live within my limitations and pay attention to my doctors, but I am living. We took our dream vacation this summer across the UK. All three of us. I met friends who have changed my life. I have changed lives. I am limited…yet stronger than ever. You are too. Conscious choices. Its all about the present.

Thanks to Luke for allowing me to tell my story. This is how it looks and feels today. Tomorrow is a new day so who knows what’s next….I do know, whatever it is, it will take me, us, closer to our purpose.

The Weight On My Shoulders

 I often feel like their is heavy weight bearing down across my shoulders. I can feel it when I'm driving, watching television or just working at my desk.  The odd thing is I put the heavy weight there, and I keep adding to it. It's the weight created by a bad habit I have and many of us share.

Even the best of us procrastinate at times. Many times I procrastinate doing things that seem overwhelming, bothersome and/or hard. I've been known to procrastinate on planning for events, selecting gifts for upcoming birthdays, purchasing tickets for travel and upcoming engagements. At times I'm my own worst enemy. I create my own burnout by designing times where I am overwhelmed with tasks that need to be addressed immediately. Again and again I find myself in late night sessions making things happen that could have be done days or weeks ago.

For whatever reason we often believe doing it later is better than doing it now. We say to ourselves : I can watch football right now. I can relax right now. I can get a couple more minutes of sleep right now. I can go shopping right now. I can enjoy the moment right now instead of ruining it by occupying my time with that overwhelming and daunting task.

Have you ever realized that you can never really enjoy those couple extra minutes of sleep, those 4 quarters of football, or that relaxing moment fully. We aren't able to enjoy it because our minds are unable to dedicate it's complete focus on that moment we want to enjoy, because a portion of our focus is dedicated to stressing out, wondering, pondering, and brainstorming about that task we are supposed to be doing.

  When we are procrastinating on more than one tasks our minds are even less dedicated to the present and even more distracted as our mind attempts to prioritize future efforts, and scan its memory bank for ways to deal with the inevitable due dates.

When we employ discipline and dedication we allow our efforts to work for us. When we separate ourselves for those excuses that entrench us in a defensive position we are able to offensively move forward because we are taking action.  When we act on those things that matter most before those things that matter least we reward ourselves with a peace of mind.




What activities do you waste time doing ?

How important are these activities to you ?

Nothing is more rewarding than mentally knowing you have done your job, completed the task and are free to do other things.

Do you want to be more relaxed ?

Do you want to have more control of your schedule ?  If so, why?

How would you feel if you could actually enjoy those moments of rest, relaxation and
entertainment ?

What one task can you work on today that would give you the freedom you want and reduce the stress you have been experiencing?


Procrastination brings on stress and releases chemicals in to the brain and body that overwork
the immune system and creates havoc that can be avoided.  Give yourself the peace of mind, freedom, and relation you want by reducing the amount of procrastination you do.

"Don't find an excuse. Find a way."

Luke Motivates 

FREE AFTER 25 YEARS

25 years !  25 years of emotional abuse. 25 years of physical abuse. 25 years of living with fear. 25 years of living in a cage without bars.

For the last 25 years my friend has been in an abusive marriage. Throughout her marriage she has been punched, pushed, shoved, bruised, beaten, and threatened repeatedly by her husband.

Imagine being in a life-long contractual agreement that bonds your heart, emotions, body, soul, children, time, and dreams with someone who strikes fear in you through bodily harm, emotional damage, and continuous embarrassment.  This was my friend’s marriage. 

On the outside many people would never believe this beautiful family specialist, with a master’s degree is the subject of the same abuse she tries to rescue her client’s from.  Imagine the moments of embarrassment, self-questioning, and hypocrisy she deals with as she listens to her clients describe their nightmares that sound just like hers.  From President Clinton to President Obama, from cassette tapes, to CD to IPODs, from tube televisions to flat screens, from Michael Jordan and the Bulls winning the championship to Usain Bolt breaking the world record in track, from the first Iraq war to Afghanistan, from 9/11 to Hurricane Katrina …through all those changes in technology, news events, and sports highlights my friend was being abused by her husband.

My friend received the blows and impact of the assaults but the pain and trauma was disbursed throughout the home and to others.  Her three sons observed it all. Male children exposed to severe domestic abuse are indirectly taught that they are powerless at defending the most important female in their life. They are indirectly instructed to stand by and remain neutral while their abused parent is suffering, hurting, and pleading for assistance. Overtime these young men may believe the best way to impose their will on others especially women is through physical force. When you take a wide lens view of my friends situation you realize you have 4 victims instead of just one.

  Day after day, month after month, year after year my friend desperately wanted to escape not only for herself but for her sons.

When you strike fear in the heart of a person, control them mentally, impose your will on them over a period of time it changes their natural instinct to explore, speak freely, and express themselves as an individual. They begin living a life where they feel trapped and jailed mentally.  When given the opportunity to free themselves they will not.  Through fear, threats, and force the oppressor is able to close the shades of hope in the abused person's mind.  This diminishes their belief that things will change; and therefore they give up taking action that may change their situation.

Over the many years of taking punches, covering her bruises with make-up, hiding her fear and pain to family and friends, and trying desperately to hide her pain to her sons and grandchildren my friend has maintained hope. On many occasions she stated she would leave but never did successfully.

A tipping point occurred in my friends life and on the first Wednesday of July 2015 she moved out of her home, left her husband of 25 years and got a place of her own.  Yes, she feared her husband would retaliate. Yes, her heart would miss the good things about her abusive husband of 25 years.  Yes, she would miss her beautiful house she helped decorate. Yes, people unaware of her years of pain would be curious as to why she left her husband of 20 plus years. Despite these things she left. She left the comfort zone of an uncomfortable life where she knew how things would play out to pursue an independent life of potential freedom and happiness where she’s not sure how things will unfold.

Your success zone requires you to step out of your current comfort zone. Making a move to your success zone requires you to focus more on your WHY and less on your fears, potential speed bumps, road blocks, and pot holes on your journey.

My friend is scared, unsure of how everything will play out, and still emotionally tied to the life she had. However, she is on her way to the life she has dreamed about.

Be on your way.  Be more afraid of staying than moving forward.

Don’t find a way to stay. Find a way to move forward to your freedom and happiness. You were born to pursue your purpose in life and be happy, not to be punished for existing.

To every person suffering in an abusive relationship please draw strength from my friend's story, and know that hope is alive.

Don’t find an excuse. Find a way to claim the life you were born to have.

You are in charge but they aren't following ...Why ?

You are the boss, manager, supervisor, or parent and you can't understand why you aren't having more influence over those you are suppose to be leading.

Here is a great tip that may help. Watch the video on the below link


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiWHgs2fH5c