FRAN'S FIGHT

Our daily battles with bills, work, child rearing, and maintaining a personal relationship can seem overwhelming. However, these daily skirmishes can be instantly dwarfed when faced with something that threatens to eclipse the benefits of any other issues and minimize the challenges of any other concerns. Imagine all the things that occupy your time and consume your day suddenly taking a backseat to something else. Everyday people like me and you get jolted with the official diagnosis from a doctor that we have cancer. We always think of it happening to the person at work, the person on television, a close friend or relative, but not us.

For the last 4 years my friend Fran has been battling cancer like a warrior. Some days are better than others. Many days were filled with questions, and a deep search for the strength and inner determination to fight when the emotional and physical tanks of energy appeared to be closer to empty and far away from full. Family, friends, so called experts, do-gooders, and pundits constantly offered their words of intended encouragement, which often could only be classified as a enigma when heard through the ears of someone diagnosed with cancer.

Still standing, still fighting is a real life Wonder Woman, mother,wife, teacher and warrior who took the time to share he raw emotions with me. As you read her words you will certainly be reminded that 2016 is a chance to transform your situation in to your opportunity despite the challenges, fears, and/or excuses you have faced or were self diagnosed.

Our warrior capabilities often time dwell deep within us, and are not manifested until we are faced with a challenge that requires a level of determination, persistence, focus, and desire to overcome...that we never could imagine we possessed.

Fran's Fight 

I began writing this story, my story, 2 months ago if not longer. I had written paragraph after paragraph of back story…misdiagnosis after misdiagnosis until the final announcement that it was nodular dermal melanoma. I painstakingly relived the surgeries and rehab and fear and then, tonight, on new years eve, I decided none of that shit is really important.

All of us have our stories. Many of our stories involve cancer. Cancer fucking sucks. But can also be a gigantic blessing. We have lived suffering. Whether it be at the hands of a disease like cancer, depression, bipolar, whatever…we have suffered. As humans, we live, we suffer, we conquer…add, rinse, repeat. I am not special. I made choices. Very conscious choices, every step of the way. I took cancer as an opportunity to find my purpose, my vision. Strangely, I was close to living that vision before my diagnosis. After, I was, and am, determined to continue living that dream. There is nothing like a life threatening illness to put shit into perspective. Period. For me, I can’t imagine coming to terms with mortality without facing it head on. I researched nodular dermal melanoma. I listened to my doctors. I followed protocol and sought out alternative treatment as well, to compliment my recovery and cancer fighting defenses! All along the way, making conscious choices to do my best, period.

Even at my darkest, I refused to give up hope. I knew the statistics and knew I had to keep doing what I was doing…no matter how hard. Recovery is hard. Re-entering the work place is hard. Living in fear is fucking hard. So, consciously, I worked on facing that fear and remembering that I had a purpose. I sought out help through a not so local cancer center and identified 3 daily affirmations:

I am healthy.

I am strong.

I am living my purpose.

I said these three mantras daily, multiple times daily when I began working again. Today, I say them daily, at least. My reminders.

I am no different from anyone else. I just choose not to let life pass me by. Our lives had become somewhat complacent. Happy but complacent. Cancer kicked us all in the ass. And its by no means over.  But we have only just started living again and my purpose is stronger than ever. All that time off recovering allowed for more than just inner dialogue…I have plans, big plans! I live within my limitations and pay attention to my doctors, but I am living. We took our dream vacation this summer across the UK. All three of us. I met friends who have changed my life. I have changed lives. I am limited…yet stronger than ever. You are too. Conscious choices. Its all about the present.

Thanks to Luke for allowing me to tell my story. This is how it looks and feels today. Tomorrow is a new day so who knows what’s next….I do know, whatever it is, it will take me, us, closer to our purpose.