Stinky Thinking

#TheWrightThought

If you had an accident on yourself would you complain about it for a day before you washed and changed your clothes ?

Sometimes we have pissy and stinking thinking. We can sulk in that pissy and stinking thinking or we can mentally bathe our minds with fresh thoughts. We can't change that we had an accident on ourselves, but we can change if we keep the same funky thoughts.

If later on in the day we realize we have had another accident and we started stinking again , then we must mentally wash and change again.

Sitting, sulking, complaining, and feeling sorry for how bad our pissy and stinky our thoughts are is not good for us or those around us.

"Don't find and excuse. Find a way" to change your stinking thinking.

Self Validation Doesn't Make You a Victor When You Are Effectively Communicating.

Sometimes daybreak happens in the mind and we realize that we were in darkness. Today I took the time to power wash the outside stairs at my house. I had no excuse to give the wife since I'm quarantined. As I did it, it appeared that it wasn't working because I wasn't seeing an immediate difference. I wanted to stop and unplug the washer. I aimed in closer to the surface and started to see the grime start to rip away, I needed validation that I was making a difference.

 I realized that in my many talks with my wife and 3 daughters that I was looking for immediate progress, or change in them, when I communicated with them. As a parent and spouse I wanted validation that they heard me, valued my ideas, appreciated my knowledge/wisdom, and learned a valuable lesson.

What I learned today while power washing is that progress doesn't start on the surface. It starts within the mind and heart of others. That progress often cannot begin if I do not give the other person a chance to be heard by talking less and listening more..because I value them more and my validation less.

As spouses, partners, parents, bosses, and friends we often think what we say, what we achieved, how we felt, what we experienced was the most important part of the conversation. When we mature we realize what happened underneath, and within the heart and mind of the other person was the most important part. 

What do you listen for in a conversation ?

What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from being a listener instead of the talker in a conversation ?

What are you learning about communication now that you didn't know before ?

The above story is a lesson I learned about myself after reading Everyone Communicates Few Connect by one of my mentors John Maxwell.  Maybe you should add this book to your collection. 

THE LIAR IN OUR HOMES AND OFFICES THAT TALKS TO OUR YOUTH

THE LIAR IN HOMES AND OFFICE THAT TALKS TO OUR YOUTH



"You can be anything you want to be ! A doctor, lawyer, or astronaut". Do you remember a teacher or parent saying something like that to you, or to a sibling or friend. Sure you do. Do you remember repeating the same or similar statement to your children, students or youngster ? Probably so.



Do you realize the most influential person in a child life is usual a parent, relative, teacher or coach ?

People listen to what we say, but follow what we do. Adults sound so convincing, motivating, direct and serious in their message to the youth to go out at conquer the world. To be all they can be. To be adventurous and courageous.  Then these same parents, teachers, mentors, and coaches turn right around and climb back in to their own comfort zone of work that includes a predicable mundane schedule with little risk of day to day failure, and sometimes little enjoyment.

The hardest person to lead is the person we see in mirror, and when we are only leading our selves with hopes and dreams and no actions, it in incredibly difficult to lead others with lip service.

If you have a  job that creates little no inspiration in you, and you feel as though you are dragging yourself in work every morning, but you will take no action or risk to find another career, then  why would a young person believe in your words about going to school and finding a job?

If your physical image and daily schedule doesn't reflect one that places fitness and health as a priority why would a young person believe or trust in your words about health ?

If you can't remember the last time you went on vacation, left your city or state, why would a young person be convinced by your words to "go see the world'?

If the high point of your day is running to the parking lot to get in your vehicle to escape the stresses you rushed to get to by 9am, then what message are you sending through your actions, habits, energy, and vibe to those young people you influence ?

The biggest lie we tell are in our daily actions.

What will you do today or this week to change your personal narrative and increase the influence you have with our youth and future leaders ?

TIME FOR YOU

#TheWrightThought Value your time as much as you respect your boss's time. It's not your boss's job to make you happy. That's your job ! Take the time to invest in your happiness, because you can't expect people to value you more than you value yourself.

It we don't take advantage of the leave time we have learned we can not expect that our employers will treat us like royalty and plan a vacation trip for us, and then escort us to the lavish spot of relaxation that we desire and deserve.

The way we treat ourselves is often the way people will treat us. If we continuously work without breaks, don't take time off, respect our company's goals more than we do our health and welfare then we can expect the establishment to treat us more like a tool than a person. Take charge of your health, happiness, and welfare by being intentional with your time for yourself. When is the last time you truly treated yourself to time off without taking your work with you mentally of physically ? (This month I took time out to visit family in England. In the picture my wife and I are enjoying dinner at a restaurant with my cousin and his wife. There was no discussion about work at all during our trip.) hashtag#leadership hashtag#growth hashtag#health

HOW I LOST DAYS I CAN'T GET BACK !!

   

         

         In my left pocket of my pants is a device I wasn't born with. It wasn't even invented until I was an adult. Therefore I lived many years without it, and did just fine. Now every couple of minutes I am reaching in to my pocket to check this device. Each time I check it I am devoting a small portion of my 24 hours to it. Every time I check it and I see someone has responded to one of my posts online my brain delivers a shot of satisfaction in the form of an endorphin. It makes me feel good, accepted, gratified. I go back, again and again for the fix.  Each visit is a short appointment to see if the dose of satisfaction is ready. What was the response? What did they say? Did someone like it ? Should I make another post ? Each visit cost me a portion of my valuable resource. Something that is more valuable than gold, money, or diamonds. My time.  

Even as I am typing these very words I am realizing that some where in my mind the value of satisfaction, be accepted, desired, liked, talked about by people online is calculated and valued to be worth more than the very time that determines my existence.  I have been willing to waste my time in hopes that someone would comment in a small way and acknowledge my presence. What I was willing to fill with proactive activities and actually face to face engagement as a child I have been willing to substitute with a simulation of reality as an adult. Yikes. 

If I could add up all the time I spent checking my phone in 2018 I'm sure it would add up to days. How many hours have I given away ? How much quality time with people of influence have I lost ? How many adventures have I missed out on ? 

My goal for 2019 is not to go cold turkey. My goal is to tackle each hour of each day as a hurdle by planning my day and week ahead with more productive activities. Trying to tackle all 365 days of 2019 at one time by saying I will suddenly be better is a bit overwhelming for me. Addressing this moment and today is challenging, but manageable. I must constantly ask myself .."What is a better use of my time ?"

Time wasters are strange demons that become vacuums for our time. 

What takes up your time, but adds little value to it ?

What goal haven't you been working on that is more important than this other activity that is wasting your time ?

We all are given 24 hours each day. Each moment of that 24 hours is incredibly precious. Why ? Because no matter who we are, how rich or famous we may become we can never buy back time. 

THE LEADERSHIP OIL CHANGE QUESTION

If you go to your local vehicle service provider to change your oil and they tell you they changed the oil and filter , and placed a sticker in the windshield stating to comeback once your vehicle has reached said mileage , but they knowingly did not  actually complete the service ..how would you respond ?

If a school passes students on to the next grade or provides them with a graduating certificate knowing they do not meet the requirements how would you respond ?

( Do we value our vehicles more than our future leaders ?)

How we respond to people versus how we respond to things is a true reflection of our leadership. Why?, Because you can not lead things. You can manage things, such as systems, and processes. However, you can lead and manage people. Therefore the way you respond to issues concerning people is a true reflection of your leadership capability.

The success of an organization over the long term often depends on the value the organization places on and the investment they make in people. Leaders are in all organizations including families, businesses, churches, clubs, and sports teams. The decisions that the leaders make within these organization concerning the people, for the people, and affecting the people will determine a significant extent of their success.

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THE RESPECT THAT STARTS WORKING AGAINST US

          Ellen was told as a little girl to be considerate of mother's time by making sure she came straight home from school, so she could relieve her mother and watch her little brother,and give her mother enough time to get to work on time.  In school it was reinforced to Ellen not to waste her teacher's time by loitering in the hall and showing up late to class. As an adult it has repeatedly been reiterated to Ellen to never waste the company's or boss's time. As a mother and wife Ellen has remembered these lessons so well that she dedicates almost all of her time to her job, her husband, and her kids. In the end she feels resentful to all of them at times, because she has no time to herself.

We are under the control of the person or entity who's time we respect the most. We abuse, neglect and disrespect the people whose time we value the least.

Have you noticed at a very young age that most people are taught to respect everyone else's time except their own? We learn to value and respect others people's time before we are ever taught to manage and value our own time. Time is our most valuable resource, because it can not be retrieved once it is gone. Everything comes to an immediate halt without time. The game, the exam, the relationship, and life all come to an end when time runs out.

We will use our resources, stress ourselves out, mark our calendar, and set our watches to ensure we are on time for others. Millions spend their lives being on time for one company. At their retirement or funeral they will say "He was never late to work over his 30 years here at the firm."  "She was always the first one here in the morning ."

Our talents, potential, and resources are usually invested where ever our time is most spent. If we are never taught that OUR time is our most valuable resource we will unintentionally give others permission to use/waste our time and we will value the time of others more than we value our own.

Without time our talents cannot be developed.
Without time we don't grow.
Without time ______________________ . (Your thoughts )

Me and my team would love to talk to your group about the value of time. When can we meet ?
Set a date to add value to you and your group by inviting us in to listen and share.

Contact me at lukemotivates@gmail.com