How To Fire Or Break-Up With Them Effectively

Do you remember a key time in your life when you felt put down, demeaned, and/or embarrassed for something you did?  How did you feel about yourself afterwards? How did you feel about the person who made you feel that way?

There will come a time in your life when you will need to relieve some one of their duties, fire someone from their job, shift their responsibilities, and/or end a relationship that no longer serves its intended purposes.

When people:

• fail to do their job
• don't do a good job
• make a huge mistake that jeopardizes the reputation of the organization and others
• have continuous mistakes that exposes a lack of capability and/or an unwillingness to learn or correct the flaw
• exposes a character flaw that shows a lack of integrity
• fails to honor their promises and responsibilities  

we may get emotionally energized in a very negative way that causes us to identify the person as the problem instead of addressing the action(s) they took or failed to take as the problem. When we associate all that went wrong with the person instead of the act(s) we will hold negative feelings such as animosity, retribution, and distrust towards the person. Our actions and words will be directed toward the person vice the act, no matter if they were purposeful, negligent, made due to ignorance, or just mistakes.

A leader addresses the actions that took place and how those actions affected others. A leader is able to differentiate between the person and the act. A leader who addresses the act vice the person is able to criticize the act and not demean the person.  Someone who constantly addresses the person may mistakenly belittle, embarrass, and/or shatter the confidence of the individual.

In the end we may value the person, but frown on their actions. We may still like or love the person, but are unable to tolerate the actions and habits of the person. Deep down we truly want to maintain the best parts of the person and ask their actions to leave the office or relationship. 

A person is more likely to rebound and do better when we address their actions as the issue and not them as a problem. Yes, you may have to fire, relieve or break up with someone due to their poorly executed actions and decisions they made.  However, your emotions will less likely cause you to hate, devalue, and criticize and/or drain you of energy when it’s focused on separating from the actions of someone vice the person themselves.

Go ahead and fire them. Go ahead and relieve them. Go ahead and break up with them. Go ahead and leave them. But keep in mind that you did so because the individual is the master of his/her actions, and although they can be identified as separate entities they can’t coexist without each other. 

Envision you level of effectiveness you could have if you could overcome your own leadership challenges. 

What are the top (3) challenges you are facing in your organization ?

Are you interested you interested in putting yourself on the path to raising your level effectiveness to become a more influential leader for you and those you lead ?

I Have  21 ways to raise your level of influence and increase your effectiveness ! email me at lukemotivates@gmail.com

The #1 Draft Pick for People Determined to Live Life Above and Beyond Average

We are influenced by many people, parents, teachers, sport's heroes, actors and many more. But there comes a time when you need to select someone to do the most important job you have. There comes a time when you must select one person to follow through with this very important mission.


  None of your relatives, mentors, heroes, or record breakers will be able to handle the job.  It's draft day and you will have to know who the only living and breathing person is you can select to do this very important job is.

Watch the video in the link below to find out who this person is.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9OxjUdcghw

The Law of Gravity for Successful People

People who are successful do things differently. They go past the boundaries. They go in to undiscovered areas. They chart their own course. Each time they move forward they must deal with the law of gravity that affects everyone. However successful people understand the law of gravity as it relates to winning and progress.

Watch the youtube video below so you too can understand the law of gravity as successful people do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfY80JEFO6g



How will you use what you now know about the law of gravity to get closer to your goal ?

How will you spend your time today, this week, this month knowing what you now know about the law of gravity ?

How will you react to those old associates, connections, and habits now that you know about the law of gravity ?

3 Things That You Lose When You Value Their Opinion More Than You Value Yourself

There are people in our lives that we love, appreciate, look up to, and are influenced by. There are also people who impact our lives but aren't necessarily people we love and enjoy. For what ever reason we value the opinion of these people.  Take a moment to visualize the faces of these people: your girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, close friend, cousin, mother, father, aunt, co-worker, associate and/ or boss.

As you see their faces thoughts and emotions about each person quickly runs through you mind and body like: love, appreciation, good memories, fun, laughter, anger, resentment, unresolved issues, jealousy, comfort, and passion.  For what ever reason we value the words of these people because they are within our circle, we have a relationship with them, and there are shared memories between us and them. 

We tend to believe we need these people's permission to be us, to go beyond where we are right now, to do things that are beyond their understanding, to do things that don't agree with their current belief systems. We are constantly on a growth path, but when we believe we need permission to grow, and we believe that permission may not be granted we create mental blocks and refuse to take the actions that will lead to our growth, success and happiness. As a result we learn to be satisfied where we are, instead of pursuing happiness and greatness where we could be.

You do not need anyone else's permission to be you. You are a gift that is forever blossoming and growing. Our continuous growth may require us to removed from one place that is more fertile. Our happiness may require us move to be exposed to other people and things of greatness. Our calling may require that we free ourselves of the restrictions of those that surround us to be around others that are there to help grow us. 

In order to to grow, in order to be great, in order to be happy, in order to be successful you have to value yourself more than the opinions of others that judge, grade, degrade, and restrict you.  Their opinions may be valid at times, but they can be restrictive if they are not adding value and allowing room for growth. 

The love expressed through a hug from a friend, loved one or stranger is greatly appreciated. However even that hug is restrictive if the person is never willing to let go.  Sometimes the love, affection, dedication, service, and pay we receive from others is conditional. The conditions are unwritten rules that say "be who I want you to be under the conditions of our relationship within a undefined time frame." Within this understanding we remain friends, family members, employees, and associates who desperately want to breakout and be ourselves.

1. When we value people's opinion more than ourselves we sacrifice our happiness. 

2. When we value people's opinion more than ourselves we limit our progress and therefore our chances at success.

3. When we value people opinion more than our selves we restrict our actions, thoughts, and mostly our growth.

You were meant to experience happiness, to grow.

You were meant to take action that leads to learning from mistakes that encourage follow on action that leads to success.  Why would we want to lead a life that deviates from our greatness?

What relationship are you in right now that is restrictive to your happiness ?

Whose opinion are you valuing more than your happiness ?

What path to success would you pursue if it weren't for someone else's opinion of you ?

T

What place, organization, circle, or relationship would you leave if you weren't afraid of what they may say about you ?

Right down 3 actions you WILL take this week to free yourself, grow yourself, create a path for success, and bring about more happiness in your life.

The Great Morning Struggle

The Great Morning Struggle

It’s about 5:20 am.  I’ve been up since 5:00 am. I’m wide awake and typing away at this blog. Some of you may say “Wow, this guy is super motivated.”  Well, I struggle just like millions of other people to get up in the morning, I hit the snooze button several times, and convince myself that I need 15 more minutes that often turn in to 30-45 more minutes. Many nights I promised myself that I will get up at 4:30 am or 5:00 am to work out and it just never happens. What in the world is going on? What has changed? I remember years ago as a young Marine I would set my alarm, pop out of bed at the appropriate time and go and workout like I was born to do it. Years later the fire and motivation to do so is just not there.  What a struggle.

I have had coaching clients that I have coached who were struggling with the same issue. As I spoke to them I envisioned myself because I was going through the same issue they were having. You know you are supposed to get up. You don’t want to deal with that guilty feeling of knowing another morning went by where you have failed to accomplish your own goal. I even beat myself up at times and say if you are not able to motivate yourself how can you motivate others? I tell you it can be a vicious negative self-talk circle.

Having a personal coach can be a very effective process to bring about the progress you want in life. As a coach I have a coach myself. How can I believe so much in the coaching process if I’m not using it myself?  Well I trust and believe in it so much that I do. My Coach Tina Greenlee a certified John Maxwell Coach works with me each week to work through my short and long term goals. It’s not easy.  I do great in some areas and I struggle in others. The great thing is the coaching process produces progress I would not have made  without a coach. Thank you Tina.

Well, I remembered many years ago I as a young Lieutenant in the Marines I would have several Muhammad Ali posters on my wall.  Some of these posters had very inspiring quotes on them. I have always been inspired by Muhammad Ali. He just got me going. Just looking at him and reading his words energized me to go. I needed something like that again.  During my coaching sessions with Tina we discussed doing something very similar to that again. I’m forty plus and married and I don’t think my wife would appreciate huge posters of Muhammad Ali on the walls of our bedroom. So the next best thing is to place him as a screen saver on my phone so I see his face when I get up to turn off the alarm on my phone. What a difference. It works !!

Yes, having something to look forward to in the morning such as an event or something you consider important and/ or enjoyable always helps to get you up. However, sometimes we need a little extra. The great Muhamad Ali works for me.

What works for you? Please share.   Remember, time is our most valuable asset. Let’s make the most of it.

“Don’t Find an Excuse. Find a way. “

When You Don't Feel Like Doing What Your Goal Requires

Right now I am struggling with a great message to deliver to you. I'm searching for something to say that will have a significant impact on you.  My energy level is low and my thoughts are scattered. I contemplated not writing a blog for this week, but I made a commitment to myself to release a new blog post every Wednesday.  The normal level of motivation I usually have is not there right now. I'm not a robot so I understand this happens from time to time. At times like this we feel like packing up and vegetating in front of the television with a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream watching our favorite show, or surfing youtube  watching random videos on whatever comes to mind. Maybe we decide to commensurate with the nearest person about all that is not going our way, and those things that could be better if only this or that would occur.

There are times when the alarm goes off in the morning and we are unable to foster the energy, focus, or drive to do what we know we are supposed to be doing.  Maybe our presence is required at the gym on the treadmill. Maybe our butts are needed in that chair at that desk reviewing those notes for an upcoming exam. There are numerous examples and scenarios I could name and cover. The point is we don't always feel like doing what we are supposed to be doing. When asked why we so often reply "I was not motivated"," I didn't feel like it", or I wasn't in the mood.

MANY times we will not be in the perfect mood we desire to start, proceed with, or finish a task. The desire, mood, or motivation doesn't always come from thinking about doing it, but from actually DOING IT.  The need to make the product or effort we should be involved in perfect may prevent us from getting started, creating momentum and making progress. 
Get on that treadmill, sit at that desk, write that book, work on that plan. Don't let the desire for perfection prevent you from having any progress at all. Once you get started you may find that slowly but surely the motivation starts to creep in and energizes you. The progress of seeing the increase in miles on the treadmill, or words on the paper you have written will inform your brain that progress is being made, and you will feel BETTER about yourself.

This was not the perfect blog, but it's the progress I have made with writing the blog that counts.

Please share with me what you are about to do the will create the momentum and produce the progress you desire.

The motivation is there. Sometimes we have to show up and meet it.

Luke Motivates

"Don't Find an Excuse. Find a way."

YOU WILL REMAIN WHERE YOU ARE IF YOU DON'T DO THIS !

You need to do this. Your success requires. You will remain where you are if you don't do this.

When is the last time you engaged with someone that has greater influence than you, with the purpose of learning from them to grow, equip, and empower yourself so you can do the same for others ?

As living organisms who have the ability to constantly learn, and develop. Therefore we have the capability to constantly grow. In order to constantly grow we must expose ourselves to things, resources, and people who have something greater to share than we have experienced or have knowledge of.

Plants must be exposed to natural light and be provided water on a regular basis in order to grow. However if plants remain in the same small pots they started in their roots will be restrained and so will their growth.

Throughout our lives we will eventually run into people who will motivate us and encourage us ..hopefully they get to us in time. Growth and development is like oxygen to our success. We can't hope we will get it.  Growth and development  is like blood that runs through our veins that assist in providing elements to our muscles.  If we do not exercise those muscles and expose them to challenges that build and strengthen them they will cease to get stronger and are useless at taking us any further than we have gone.

If you want to get on your journey, make progress on journey, and eventually reach your goal you must be INTENTIONAL about GROWING.

What is your plan to meet and engage with influential people who can assist you in growing and developing ?

Who are you surrounded by on a weekly basis that is equipping and empowering you to get to your GOAL.

*DO NOT CONFUSE THIS WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE PROVIDING YOU WITH RESOURCES, AN ENVIRONMENT, TRAINING AND ENCOURAGEMENT TO KEEP YOU IN A PLACE WHERE YOU ARE TOO COMFORTABLE TOO MOVE FORWARD TOWARD PROGRESS.

In order to grow and develop you must surround and systematically engage with people who will share with you knowledge, information and resources that will EMPOWER and EQUIP you. These people will allow you to transform and transition to places where you will be CHALLENGED in order to GROW to where to want to GO.

Take 60 minutes of your day to :


1. Find a coach you can engage with on a regular basis that will assist you in getting to your goal.

2. Find  several mentors you can talk to who have accomplished what you want to accomplish. Get on their calendar each month to share your plans and experiences so they can provide you feedback.

3. Join a group and organization that meets  regularly that supports your goal.

4. Evaluate your circle of associates and friends and make a list of ways you can adjust that circle to include people that will add value to you and limit your time with people who do not.

If you FAIL to be INTENTIONAL on taking these actions in order to GROW you will remain where you have always been.

5. Make time on your daily/weekly schedule to grow. WRITE IT DOWN NOW !! What time will you do it ? Where will you do it ? With whom will you do it ? How long will you do it ?

"Don't find an excuse. Find a way."

If you are in need of a coach contact me and let's get you started  http://lukemotivates.com/  lukemotivates@gmail.com