The Weight On My Shoulders

 I often feel like their is heavy weight bearing down across my shoulders. I can feel it when I'm driving, watching television or just working at my desk.  The odd thing is I put the heavy weight there, and I keep adding to it. It's the weight created by a bad habit I have and many of us share.

Even the best of us procrastinate at times. Many times I procrastinate doing things that seem overwhelming, bothersome and/or hard. I've been known to procrastinate on planning for events, selecting gifts for upcoming birthdays, purchasing tickets for travel and upcoming engagements. At times I'm my own worst enemy. I create my own burnout by designing times where I am overwhelmed with tasks that need to be addressed immediately. Again and again I find myself in late night sessions making things happen that could have be done days or weeks ago.

For whatever reason we often believe doing it later is better than doing it now. We say to ourselves : I can watch football right now. I can relax right now. I can get a couple more minutes of sleep right now. I can go shopping right now. I can enjoy the moment right now instead of ruining it by occupying my time with that overwhelming and daunting task.

Have you ever realized that you can never really enjoy those couple extra minutes of sleep, those 4 quarters of football, or that relaxing moment fully. We aren't able to enjoy it because our minds are unable to dedicate it's complete focus on that moment we want to enjoy, because a portion of our focus is dedicated to stressing out, wondering, pondering, and brainstorming about that task we are supposed to be doing.

  When we are procrastinating on more than one tasks our minds are even less dedicated to the present and even more distracted as our mind attempts to prioritize future efforts, and scan its memory bank for ways to deal with the inevitable due dates.

When we employ discipline and dedication we allow our efforts to work for us. When we separate ourselves for those excuses that entrench us in a defensive position we are able to offensively move forward because we are taking action.  When we act on those things that matter most before those things that matter least we reward ourselves with a peace of mind.




What activities do you waste time doing ?

How important are these activities to you ?

Nothing is more rewarding than mentally knowing you have done your job, completed the task and are free to do other things.

Do you want to be more relaxed ?

Do you want to have more control of your schedule ?  If so, why?

How would you feel if you could actually enjoy those moments of rest, relaxation and
entertainment ?

What one task can you work on today that would give you the freedom you want and reduce the stress you have been experiencing?


Procrastination brings on stress and releases chemicals in to the brain and body that overwork
the immune system and creates havoc that can be avoided.  Give yourself the peace of mind, freedom, and relation you want by reducing the amount of procrastination you do.

"Don't find an excuse. Find a way."

Luke Motivates 

FREE AFTER 25 YEARS

25 years !  25 years of emotional abuse. 25 years of physical abuse. 25 years of living with fear. 25 years of living in a cage without bars.

For the last 25 years my friend has been in an abusive marriage. Throughout her marriage she has been punched, pushed, shoved, bruised, beaten, and threatened repeatedly by her husband.

Imagine being in a life-long contractual agreement that bonds your heart, emotions, body, soul, children, time, and dreams with someone who strikes fear in you through bodily harm, emotional damage, and continuous embarrassment.  This was my friend’s marriage. 

On the outside many people would never believe this beautiful family specialist, with a master’s degree is the subject of the same abuse she tries to rescue her client’s from.  Imagine the moments of embarrassment, self-questioning, and hypocrisy she deals with as she listens to her clients describe their nightmares that sound just like hers.  From President Clinton to President Obama, from cassette tapes, to CD to IPODs, from tube televisions to flat screens, from Michael Jordan and the Bulls winning the championship to Usain Bolt breaking the world record in track, from the first Iraq war to Afghanistan, from 9/11 to Hurricane Katrina …through all those changes in technology, news events, and sports highlights my friend was being abused by her husband.

My friend received the blows and impact of the assaults but the pain and trauma was disbursed throughout the home and to others.  Her three sons observed it all. Male children exposed to severe domestic abuse are indirectly taught that they are powerless at defending the most important female in their life. They are indirectly instructed to stand by and remain neutral while their abused parent is suffering, hurting, and pleading for assistance. Overtime these young men may believe the best way to impose their will on others especially women is through physical force. When you take a wide lens view of my friends situation you realize you have 4 victims instead of just one.

  Day after day, month after month, year after year my friend desperately wanted to escape not only for herself but for her sons.

When you strike fear in the heart of a person, control them mentally, impose your will on them over a period of time it changes their natural instinct to explore, speak freely, and express themselves as an individual. They begin living a life where they feel trapped and jailed mentally.  When given the opportunity to free themselves they will not.  Through fear, threats, and force the oppressor is able to close the shades of hope in the abused person's mind.  This diminishes their belief that things will change; and therefore they give up taking action that may change their situation.

Over the many years of taking punches, covering her bruises with make-up, hiding her fear and pain to family and friends, and trying desperately to hide her pain to her sons and grandchildren my friend has maintained hope. On many occasions she stated she would leave but never did successfully.

A tipping point occurred in my friends life and on the first Wednesday of July 2015 she moved out of her home, left her husband of 25 years and got a place of her own.  Yes, she feared her husband would retaliate. Yes, her heart would miss the good things about her abusive husband of 25 years.  Yes, she would miss her beautiful house she helped decorate. Yes, people unaware of her years of pain would be curious as to why she left her husband of 20 plus years. Despite these things she left. She left the comfort zone of an uncomfortable life where she knew how things would play out to pursue an independent life of potential freedom and happiness where she’s not sure how things will unfold.

Your success zone requires you to step out of your current comfort zone. Making a move to your success zone requires you to focus more on your WHY and less on your fears, potential speed bumps, road blocks, and pot holes on your journey.

My friend is scared, unsure of how everything will play out, and still emotionally tied to the life she had. However, she is on her way to the life she has dreamed about.

Be on your way.  Be more afraid of staying than moving forward.

Don’t find a way to stay. Find a way to move forward to your freedom and happiness. You were born to pursue your purpose in life and be happy, not to be punished for existing.

To every person suffering in an abusive relationship please draw strength from my friend's story, and know that hope is alive.

Don’t find an excuse. Find a way to claim the life you were born to have.

You are in charge but they aren't following ...Why ?

You are the boss, manager, supervisor, or parent and you can't understand why you aren't having more influence over those you are suppose to be leading.

Here is a great tip that may help. Watch the video on the below link


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YiWHgs2fH5c

DON'T MAKE THEIR "NO" TO YOU YOUR NO TO YOURSELF

Last week I was contacted by a lady I meet about a year ago who owned her own business selling organic healthcare products. She sent me an email asking me to contact her right away concerning assistance she needed.  I put aside a couple of tasks I had immediately intended to work on to contact her. Her email sounded urgent, so I felt the obligation to respond right away.

Once I got her on the phone she let me know that she had received a wonderful opportunity to grow her business.  She informed me that after a trip to Dubai she connected with some people of influence and was able to get a verbal agreement for distribution of her products. There was a large expo happening in Dubai in a couple weeks and she was able to secure a spot as a vendor in the expo.  This is where my assistance was needed.

She needed a large quantity of samples of her product to be on display and available at the expo for people to try.  She did not have the capital to buy and produce the amount of products she wanted to ship and have available at the expo. In turn she was asking me to support her with several thousand dollars to buy, produce, and mail products to Dubai.

I was reluctant to support her effort for various well thought out business reasons which included my own risk assessment. In short I told her I wished her the best, but I couldn’t justify financially supporting her effort.  For the next couple of days she sent me short emails of pictures, videos, and spreadsheets about her business.  Again I wished her the best, but encouraged her to move forward with her goal if she truly believed in what she was doing.

I didn’t feel bad about my decision because it was an honest one. I had purchased her products when I first met her and they worked great. I would even suggest them to other people. However, the risks, chances on return on investment, and logistical support involved in the venture concerned me. If I would have invested and was not able to recoup my investment I would have felt very foolish for going against my well thought out analysis.

About a week and half later I received an email from her telling me her products were in Dubai for the expo. Some way somehow she managed to get her products there.  I told her “No,” but somehow she found a way. She took a risk on herself. She didn’t allow my “No” to become her “No.”  I’m unsure if she has yet to receive orders for her products that allow her to break even or make a large profit.  The important thing is she had enough faith in herself to make a leap to invest in an opportunity that could yield success. Excuses, procrastinations, and fears don’t yield positive results, rewards, or success.

 

In order to become successful sometimes you will have to bet on yourself, recover quickly from “no’s” , get out of your comfort zone, and  leap forward, even when you don’t see a net below.

Don’t find an excuse to abandon your goal. Find a way to obtain it even if you must go it alone.

 

Luke Motivates

 

“Don’t find an excuse. Find a way.  

 

 

I CHALLENGE YOU !!

I challenge you !!

I challenge you to actually live. I challenge you to actually get up and live life.  I challenge you to give your heart something to beat for besides pushing blood through your body. I challenge you to take another breath for a reason greater than putting more carbon dioxide in the air.

Your life is much more than your job !

Your life is much more than your bills !

Your life is much more than the shows that you DVR to vicariously live life through fictional characters developed in Holly Wood production studios.

Your life is much more than the Twitter, Instagram and Facebook statuses you follow, watch and keep up with while life is passing you by.

Do something today !!

Take action !!

Remove yourself from the couch. Get up from the desk. Put down the cell phone. TAKE ACTION !!

GO ON THAT RUN. SIGN UP FOR THAT CLASS. START THAT BUSINESS. TAKE THAT RISK !!

Life is nothing but a screen of other people's lives and experiences we must fuel our selves to watch and endure; unless we take DECISIVE ACTION to get involved and actually LIVE LIFE ourselves.

YOU ARE AWAKE ...but are you LIVING or simply existing.

"DON'T FIND AN EXCUSE. FIND A WAY."

 LUKE MOTIVATES.

Relation-Ships !!

Come aboard mate and let set ours sails to voyage toward our goals. Each one of the valuable relationships we have in our lives are like ships sailing across a great ocean.  We have a Family ship, a Best Friend Ship, A Boss ship, an Employee ship, a Health ship, a Financial Ship, a Morale, Welfare and Entertainment ship and many other ships. Each requires your integrity, communication and actions.  In some way all of these ships are going in the same basic direction. When one of these ships starts to divert in drastically different direction it jeopardizes your dedication to the other ships.




Whenever we ignore our responsibility to anyone of these ships it can possibly change the course and destiny to another ship. As a leader if you ignore your responsibility to your employees they most likely will not go the extra mile for you. If you do not invest in them and develop them to become leaders instead of followers they will be unable to cover you and provide the flexibility you need to allow you to branch out and do bigger and better things. As a result your Boss ship and Company ship will suffer. Overtimes the Boss ship and Company ship may come to the decision that your bearings are not inline with their course. A surprise invitation off the ship may be the result.


If you give too much attention to a specific vessel, again you may be taking valuable time away from another ship that requires your attention. If you spend too much time on your Work or Morale Welfare and Entertainment ship dedicating too much of yourself to a job or a hobby, you may find that the Family ship, Wife ship, Boyfriend, or Girlfriend ship will began to suffer. Those ships needs daily attention, quality time and acknowledgement or their importance in your life. Without the daily attention and quality time the neglected areas of the ship will call for repairs. Sometimes if they go long enough without attention the ship may be beyond repairs. If you ignore some ships long enough you may find that another Captain has taken over the ship.

Regular communication with your ships is a requirement. If you do not communicate with your ships they will feel ignored, neglected and not cared for. Although their outside hulls may sparkle inside there is damage. Communicate and check on your ships.


Integrity is key. If anyone of your ships has reason to question your integrity it may give it reason to steer off course, elect a new Captain, or do something spiteful while you're still aboard ship.


Always take required action concerning your ships. Don't procrastinate when it comes to taking action. Procrastination is usually fueled by fear. Fear should never  be the adviser to the Captain of any ships.


Warning ! Never become the Captain of alluring ships that are not in sync with the direction of your other ships. Ships like The Affair, The Addiction, and The Drugs will offer you excitement, thrills, make your heart pound for new found experiences. These ships will make you feel like you are in control of them. Overnight you'll find yourself in rough waters you are unable to navigate out of. Before you know it you have become a very low ranking shipmate, falling to the demands of a promising ship that has no heart.  It will demand your dedication and promise you what your flesh desires. Meanwhile the ships you once said were most important to you are drifting off course and away from you.


Don't find an excuse. Find a way  to be the Captain of the ships that are most important to you !!  Your happiness, health, and prosperity of those you care for depend on it.


Does someone you know need help with improving their leadership skills in order to become a better Captain of their relation-ships ?


Do you need help with accountability of your relation-ships ?


How would things be better if you or someone you know gained the skills to becoming a better Captain of their Relation-ships ?

Imagining you or those within a group or organization you belong to with better leadership skills to becoming a better Captain of their Relation-ships.  let's talk, if the outlook is truly important to you.
 
You may have tried the excuses. Now let's try the solution.



email Luke Motivates at  lukemotivates@gmail.com