Sunday, December 28, 2014

The Happiness Slave Trade

  


In John Maxwell's book  "Today Matters" he says "The Thoughts in your mind will always be more important than the things in your life." What a powerful and impactful statement. Each day we make decisions on how we spend our time. We make a conscious effort to decide who to establish relationships with and who to discontinue spending time with. We decide where we will spend our time working, relaxing and living.  Each one of these decisions have a strong affect on our thoughts.


How do you feel when you spend time at a place you don't want to be ? How do you feel when you're in the company of some one who upsets you the majority of the time or you don't care for?   These people and places that we immediately think of bring about emotions of stress, aggravation, anger, sadness, depression, fear, and discontent.


Despite how we feel about these people and environments too many of us CHOOSE on a daily basis to spend our time in these environments and with these people.  Some of us go to places of employment that we dread going to. We wake up in the morning and drag ourselves to these places of employment we dislike. Immediately our emotions are poisoned with negativity. The traffic appears more overwhelming than if we were going else where. Our veins seem to pump with impurities that make our fingers grip the steering wheel with enough intensity to separate the soul from the body if it were someone's neck.  Our lungs take in oxygen but mix with an invisible element of tension and disturbance that intensify how we feel. Now we are not only feeling the negativity, we are
unknowingly emitting it.


Others of us are willingly re-inviting our selves each day in to the presence of people who have harmed, hurt, betrayed, or mistreated us. When we are away from them we feel a great sense of relief. On our way to see them we strategize on how WE can make the situation better by going above and beyond, not pissing them off, staying out of their way, being precaution, or not saying anything when they act inappropriately.


What kind of thoughts are we creating in our mind when subject ourselves to such treatments and environments ? Some of us feel extremely overwhelmed, stressed out, on the brink of loosing it, mentally enslaved, or even suicidal. Pressure busts pipes. When the pressure is too much we seek to immediately eliminate the pain. Sometimes the release measures we spontaneously choose are not safe for us or others.


When we are stressed, the money no longer has the value it once had or brings the happiness we thought it would. The expensive house and nice neighborhood no longer enchants and welcomes us when turn in to our cult-de-sac. The luxury vehicle not longer excites us or provides the driving experience it once did when our mind is distracted by a lack of peace of mind, and a level of dissatisfaction that only a higher power could understand.


We have the power to influence our thoughts by placing ourselves in places and among people who support the positivity and happiness we desire.  We are empowered to choose and change. A person lacking material wealth but peace of mind can smile and go about their day, in way that would make a rich man with worries on the brink of a nervous breakdown envious.


What courageous decision are you willing to make in 2015 that will separate you from places and people that bring you down and instead connect you with people and places that uplift you and support your happiness ?



Thursday, December 11, 2014

The Power of Our Words








We are often very aware of how the words of others affect us. The way they raise our emotions. The way a few simple words can lift our spirits and have us mentally floating in bliss all day. Or maybe the way some words linger in our mind like the tragic scene from an accident. At times someone's words can be like a crippling poison that paralyzes our ambition, disrupts our focus, and forever deforms us like crushed aluminum foil, that never can be returned to its original smoothness without the crinkles. Sometimes the right words can seem like a steroid that charges our spirit with motivation and inspiration, and energizes us to accomplish things we procrastinated doing or just didn't have the courage to do.

If words could be traced by a computer as they enter our ears and minds we would see powerful colors with intense shades and hues. We would see everything from pitch onyx black, to bright Sunkist orange, or a relaxing Carolina blue that was suddenly pierced by a crimson red as ran from our head and transitioned to our heart.


They aren't slaps, kicks, punches, kisses, caresses, or hugs but the way words affect us they might as well be sometimes. We are so aware of how the words of others fall down on us like rain. We wait for them, expect them, are surprised by them, uplifted by them, dumbfounded by them and even mentally frozen in time by them.


When the energy of the words overwhelm us, and overflows within us, we will often discharge how they make us feel through our mouths. Often times with more emotional articulation than intelligence we will discharge an arsenal of verbal weaponry intended to damage and disrupt the emotions of a another.


Sometimes we plot and plan and choose wisely the right words to inspire, cheer up, manipulate, convince, corrupt or dismantle the spirit of another. Other times we are foolishly unaware of how a casual "you look nice" livens the heart, or how a nonchalant  "no" pours like water and outs a barely lit candle.


I have learned over time, how harsh and hurtful my words can come across to others, especially loved ones, even when I have no intention of hurting them. Often times I feel so misunderstood.  A perceived harmless email, casual conversation or remark often packs the power of a round house right punch when I thought it was coming across as a firm grasp on the shoulder. Obviously there is much work to be done on my choice of words and the delivery of them.


I'm sure you are aware of how the words or others affect you. Have you ever thought how your words no matter how casual, affect others ?


Please share your thoughts.


 

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Challenging and Difficult People. Why Are They In Our Lives ?



        Do you have those one or two persons in your life that even the mention of their names make you cringe ?  The sound of their voice annoys you, or just their presence in the room with you is enough to make you tense up, boil in anger, stress out or just want to leave. They have done things to you in the past and may continue to do things that baffle, anger, annoy and bother you to the core of your soul. You know exactly who they are. You are thinking of them now as you read this. You can picture their face, their expressions, and you can remember some of the things that make them so unfavorable to you.


Why are they in our lives. What is their purpose. Someone please explain !!


 A seed planted in the dirt is opposed by the ground it must break through in order to receive sunlight. That seed must be kept underground until it grows some roots and a stem that will push through the surface. Once the stem breaks the surface it must face the elements of the weather, winds, rain, and sun.


At each stage the plant is challenged by something that appears to oppose it,  but is needed to assist it in growing. However, too tough a soil will not allow the plant to break through the surface. Too much water will wash away the mineral and nutrients in the soil. Too much sun will dehydrate the plant and kill it.


Too much of any one thing is detrimental and requires change to ensure survival and further development.


A battered woman in a verbally and/or physically abusive relationship gets to a breaking point. She finds courage deep within her she never knew she had and she leaves. She taps in to that courage again and again to get a degree, start a business, buy a home and find a healthy relationship that is emotionally rewarding.


An employee is unrewarded, unappreciated, under-compensated year after year by a selfish and self-centered boss. 5 days a week they commute 90 minutes to this job that is financially sufficient, but emotionally draining. Like a chess piece the employee is mentally pushed out of their position by an opposing force. The lack or recognition and appreciation reaches a point where it is intolerable. Finally the employee leaves the job to pursue their passion in a field they have always dreamed of but were too afraid to take the leap.


The difficult and challenging people are often life's natural agitators that cause us to dig deep within us, and employ strengths and potential lying dormant that we never knew we had. Out comes unseen power, courage, talent, skills, and emotion that amaze us and those that know us when we are pushed out of our comfort zone.


Those difficult and challenging people push us out of our comfort zone.  Why does it take such pain, punishment, cruelty, harsh conditions, and suffering ?  I don't know.  However, I know that we are not born to be abused. We are born to live and be happy, and sometimes getting to our goal, achieving our happiness, and living life requires us to step out of our comfort zone.  It requires us to break free from people and situations that aren't healthy although the situation may have other rewards and benefits.


Receive their message that it's time to go and make a change. Appreciate the lesson, experience and valuable wisdom...then jump with the faith and courage of a young bird pushed from a nest. It's O.K to be scared. Jump anyway.




Thursday, November 20, 2014

ONE STEP !!

I had a dream of motivating people. Talking to individuals and getting them to bridge the gap from where they are to where they want to be.  For the longest time I constantly thought about how much money it would cost to get certifications for coaching, money to take professional photographs, the extensive time it would take to network and build up a following, the fear of rejection, potential losses of investments. The list of drawbacks, procrastination and negatives went on and on.


My fears were willing to  have me struggle day after day, week after week, year after year  hoping and wishing for what I truly wanted in life.  My excuses were more than willing to have me spend my day up to my NECK in worries and problems.  Yet I wasn't willing to JUMP KNEE  deep in to an opportunity to bring about the change I wanted in my life.


My life remained on pause....a constant review of the past and my current situation I wasn't willing to change....until I took one step.  Not just thinking about making a step....I actually took a step and took ACTION.  That ACTION created MOMENTUM.  That MOMENTUM encouraged me to take another step, and more steps.


The result is that I am now an experienced speaker within Toastmasters (The international public speaking organization), was able to be featured on a live TEDx Talk event in Fredericksburg Virginia, won 1st place in a humorous speech contest, and I'm now part of the John Maxwell Team as a speaker and coach. (John Maxwell is a world recognized leadership guru, speaker, and author of over 70 books. His book "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Success" has been translated in more than 40 languages)


What you want is within your grasp. You just need to take a step !!


TAKE A BOLD STEP !!


Set a date, or do it tomorrow !!!  Write what you want to accomplish in the comment block on this blog,and then come back and tell me when you have taken the step.


You already have all the potential you need. I want to see you achieve your goal.


Life is meant to be lived, not just thought about being lived.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

So That Great Contact Didn't Call You Back ! Here's What You Do..



So you took the initiative and bravely spoke to someone you didn't know. Maybe you had lunch with them or a great conference call. The vibes were right. You saw an opening, and made a pitch to offer your services to them. Using your great planning skills and initiative you closed the loop by locking on a follow up meeting with them to make the next step.


Another spot has been filled on your calendar with this prospect, and you move on to other tasks. The appointment date nears and you cannot get in touch with the person. They either don't answer your text or calls, reschedule, come up with excuses, appear indecisive or postpone for another date they won't commit to at this time. You are puzzled, and may feel a bit defeated if this is one of your first leads.


This happen quite often.  Do not spend an extensive length of time on these type of people. They have shown that they are not committed, and are not fully interested. You will spend a great deal of time trying to convince these type of people to take action on something they say they want.  Overtime you may find yourself spending valuable time coaxing them, emotionally dragging them, talking to them about pros and cons, and the value of your services. Frustration may set in. In the end you may began to question your skills and techniques. ( Don't be afraid or to big to brush up on your networking or selling skills if you need to.)


There is a better option !! Focus on those people that want to really take action, and are truly dedicated to their goal. These people will work with you towards their goals. They will use their resources to obtain your services to make themselves better. Those other individuals will waste your time, lead you to lower your service prices, and occupy valuable space on your calendar that could be used for other eventful engagements. Go out and find people that are honestly interested in winning, not procrastinating, progress, not excuses, stepping out of their comfort zone, and not trickery or shortcuts that will magically make things happen. Don't be afraid to reach up and reach out to wealthy and experienced people, or to people you don't know. Stop reaching down to those who refuse to get up, or to people you know just because you know them.


There are people who desire your services out there. They are waiting for what you have to offer. They want and need your help. They are committed, have the resources, and are willing to get up and show up.


Spend your time with those who want it. Those who don't will let you know with there actions. Believe them when they show you.


Be confident. Believe in yourself. Don't allow anyone's short comings to turn you in to a desperate sales person. You are valuable and so is what you have to offer.


Luke Wright

Friday, October 10, 2014

John Maxwell And Who You See in the Mirror



        Today I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a L2 (Learn and Lead) event featuring the famous Motivational Teacher and author John Maxwell. It was a great experience packed with great information that will surely benefit me...only if I use it. During the presentation John Maxwell said on many occasions people have asked him to invest in them. He then said he doesn't invest in people who do not invest in themselves.


Look in the mirror. If the person you see is not someone you love, who inspires you, you see as valuable, or is pleasurable to you, then you will be less likely to invest in them. You will convince yourself not to give them tasks of importance, because you do not trust them to carry it out to the finish. You will doubt that person in the mirror if you don't believe in them, and won't trust them with long term goals or dreams. You may even convince yourself that they are not the kind of person you want to struggle through tough times with, because they aren't strong enough, smart enough, or courageous enough.


In the long run you will entrust others with your goals, dreams and even your happiness. You may hold them responsible for those things you don't trust the person in the mirror to carry out.  As a result many people will let you down... friends, family, co-workers, associates and strangers. Lastly you'll blame them for letting you down and then bitterness, hatred, and anger will creep in to accompany your every thought when you think of these people. Over time you will build up a great distrust for many people.


When we don't value things we don't invest in them. We allow them to deteriorate or we just maintain them enough to use them as we slowly allow them to die. Just think about a used car or appliance you have had for many years. Watch how its stored and kept.


You MUST BELIEVE in the person you see in the mirror. That person HAS VALUE beyond measure. No matter the race, sex, weight, color, financial status, past, or mistakes made, that person HAS VALUE !!  Even if you can't see it, the value is there.  You can't see oxygen ,but you know you can breathe...Right ?!!  Surely you don't question that oxygen exists. SO don't question if you have value.


Believe in the person in the mirror. Invest in them WISELY because you want them to be happy and to win ! Don't let what anyone said in the past or will say in the future convince you that the person you see in the mirror is anything but priceless.






Thursday, October 2, 2014

Who is Scott Nichols and Why Does He Matter ?



                                                  



This past weekend me and a fellow Toastmaster Scott Nichols competed in separate speaking competitions. As usual Scott rose to the occasion. During his brief speech Scott spoke about how he sought out finding the woman of his dreams..his wife, the love of his life who he is celebrating 13 years of marriage with.  His speech resonated w/ the audience and painted a picture of his undying desire for his wife.  On numerous occasions in different speeches Scott has spoken about his family, their vacations, time together, funny moments and challenging times.




Like an employee dedicated to his job, Scott wakes up each day to put in dedicated hours with his wife and daughters. He spends countless hours watching Disney movies, priceless moments spent camping, and irreplaceable moments spent learning valuable lessons about being a husband and father.



He is passionate and dedicated to the billet of husband and father. He doesn't complain about the hours, he reaps the benefits of his labor, and constantly invests his time, energy and focus with his wife and daughters like co-workers, or employees he values and really wants to stay with the company.



We work so hard to reach the top of the ladder in a company or industry to have a nice home and pay for the nice things we want for ourselves and our family.  Too often we start sacrificing our time with the family we say we're dedicated to in order to be more successful at work. Over time many of us become successful at work and unsuccessful at home.  It's requires strategic balance, and a strict management of priorities to be and remain successful at home ...and at work.


If we don't respond with dedication and respect the discipline it takes to maintain both a family and career we will soon find ourselves fighting to prove how much we really love the position we failed to show up for.


Be dedicated to the ones you love, the ones no job, promotion, or seasonal overtime can replace. We all can't be a Scott Nichols, but we certainly can improve on what we did yesterday as a husband, wife , father or mother.



What are you willing to do to be better to those that count the most?



Success comes from finding a way, not an excuse.



I would love to hear what you think. Please share your thoughts by using the comment block.





Friday, September 26, 2014

YOU HAVE TO RISK IT TO GET IT !

I have been in the military for over 20 years. The comfort of knowing you will always get paid on the 1st and 15th of month no matter what is a great security blanket. To know that no matter what you can walk into a military hospital and get taken care of contributes to ones' peace of mind in a way that no tool can measure. Who would want to leave that type of security and comfort?


Many of us have great jobs or are in great relationships that provide security and comfort. However they do not satisfy the hunger or desire we have deep within our hearts and minds. Maybe your job pays well but is terribly boring and is far from mentally satisfying. Maybe you're in a relationship with someone where your basic needs are taken care of, but the deep love and passion is not there.


I want the same passion I have in my relationship in my career. That's why I'm pursuing my goals as a Motivational Speaker. Why not? I'm going to be challenged no matter what. Why not be challenged while going for my dream? We only live once. So I'm going to risk what is comfortable and predictable to have a chance at living life to the fullest.


I'm not going to wait for cancer or old age to have a bucket list. I'm going to live this life like it was meant to be lived.


What is it that one thing you want to do ?


Where do want to go?


What would make you feel like you are living life?


Your job can not give you what you are not willing to give yourself. Just because things are predicable doesn't mean they're fulfilling.  The choice to have a life that will fulfill that desire in your heart and mind requires you to risk the predicable, or dependable and step out of your comfort zone.


Thursday, September 18, 2014

Transitioning To a New Career Can be Scary !!

 After 20 plus years in the military I am transitioning to the civilian sector. The military has been enjoyable, but now its time to follow my dreams and pursue my passion. In addition, how can I be a motivational speaker who niche is following your purpose and disabling your excuses if I'm not doing the same for myself? I have to push forward !


Take action despite the obstacles that are seen, unseen or created by your fears.




I have to be honest the transition I'm going through is challenging. Building different resumes, getting prepared for interviews, waiting for call backs, networking and creating leads can be very time consuming and overwhelming. You are constantly thinking about maintaining your lifestyle and getting a job that pays more or at least as much as you earn now. If you have a family you're constantly thinking about everyone depending on you and all the obligations you have. The list goes on and on.


Please keep in mind that when you do not get the job it is not always because you're not qualified or wouldn't be a great fit with the company and personnel. Have you every thought that you represented yourself so well at an interview that you were seen as a threat ?  Many times people on interview boards will not recommend hiring someone they believe is a threat to their position, or would take away the limelight they currently have in the office.


Think about it....


I want to hear your thoughts.



Don't stop going after your goals. It's going to be challenging along the way. I'm going through it right now. Many of you are going through it too. We WILL make it, and be VICTORIOUS. Let's get through this together. Feel free to share your thoughts.






Luke Wright

Thursday, September 4, 2014

GETTING THE CHANGE YOU WANT IN LIFE





What have you done lately to improve yourself?  Have you taken a class? Changed your mindset?  Changed your circle of friends ? Improved your diet ? Changed your spending habits? Have you changed your routine or habits in anyway?


Too many people want their environment and life to change, but aren't doing anything to change themselves. If you want things to change in life the change starts with you. Right now you are probably blaming your job, blaming your spouse or family for something. No matter who created the problem you have the potential to change the situation, and create an opportunity for yourself.


How much longer will stay bitter, constantly talking about what's going wrong, who is to blame and how bad things are?
Free yourself and change your situation. I challenge you to focus on a solution that you can take to positively change your situation. It won't be easy. It won't be comfortable, but it will be EMPOWERING !!!


Make a move today to make your life better. You possess everything that it takes to achieve and live the life you truly want for yourself !!


Luke Wright


Coaching for the life you want, not the one your excuses have elected.







Monday, August 25, 2014

THEIR OPINION VS YOUR HAPPINESS



Too often in life we switch from trying to make ourselves happy to trying to please others and satisfying their opinion of us. Sometimes it’s our parents, employers, religious leaders or the "Jone's". It doesn't matter if you are keeping up with the Jone's, or you are trying to impress strangers. When your aim is to satisfy the opinion of others you will often miss hitting the target of your happiness. So many of us focus so much on what others think of us, that we end up spending our time trying to satisfy someone else's opinion of us. In turn we end up learning to be satisfied with something less than happy in order to receive the praises, accolades, thumbs up, or perceived approval from someone.

What pleases someone changes from moment to moment. What pleased them last week, doesn't please them this week. What pleased them yesterday, doesn't please them today, and what pleased just a moment ago doesn't please them now. If the mind of the individual is so fickle, then it is even more difficult to please them than ourselves. Sometimes it’s even difficult to please ourselves, and we know ourselves best. Think how much more challenging it is to do the investigative, guessing and analytical work to find out what pleases someone else. Someone else's opinion, perspective, and/or thought is a moving target. When you are chasing that target you have no time to aim for your happiness. You are less likely to hit the target if you aren't aiming for it. Aim for your happiness, and improve your chases of being happy.

You were born to pursue your happiness, experience joy, smile, face challenges, difficulties, and overcome obstacles on the way to your goal that will build your character. Your emotions weren't built to dodge in and out of the traffic of insults, put downs, criticisms and let downs in order to please the opinion waiting on the other side of the road. Although your emotions can sustain such punishment that's not their purpose.

Do yourself a favor and give yourself the freedom you have been longing for. Detach yourself from having to please so many people's opinion. People will talk about you now, later, to your face, behind your back, in a text, in a verbal conversation, to your friends, with your enemy, when you are alive, and certainly when you're dead. You can’t stop people from talking.

Aim for your happiness, and you're more likely to hit it. There are people that you have to or end up pleasing in life for valid reasons. However you should not let what others think of you rule your world. Don't be so disappointed that everyone or most people aren't satisfied with your decisions. You can never please everybody, even if you are making peace and spreading love.

If seeing you happy pursuing and achieving your goal based on integrity, self -improvement, and raising the quality of your life doesn't bring joy to them then they aren't really concerned about your happiness. They are more concerned about making what they want happen….and this may not include your happiness.

Stand tall, be brave and aim for your happiness, even when it doesn’t come with the approval and welcoming opinions of everyone you would like to please.










































Friday, August 15, 2014

YOU CAN NEVER AFFORD SUCCESS WHEN YOU BUY IN TO YOUR EXCUSES


There are millions of people that dream every night about where they want to be the next day. There are millions of people that daydream about the job they want and the business they could have. There are millions of people that contemplate loosing weight and becoming healthier and happier. There are millions of people that want to change their lives by making more money, pursuing their passion and living in abundance.

A very small percentage of these people ever get what they want. Not because anyone is against them. Not because a lack of resources and definitely not due to a lack of ability. They don't get or achieve what they want because they buy into their excuses. As soon as they buy into their excuses they immediately find themselves in a situation where they are convinced they cannot afford their goals. They invest deeply into "can't" and "not able to" at such a high interest rate that they mentally tie up all their resources.

Excuses are poor thoughts that cannot afford success. Success thinks with "I CAN" and "I WILL". Success is willing to fall forward with persistent attempts, instead of standing still in regret. Success is willing to learn from trying. Success is willing to depart so bad from where it is currently in order to get where it needs to be.

Follow the stories of Dr. Jai Armstrong from Baltimore who decided to embrace her capabilities, love for music, and passion for dancing to create the new fitness program Cranked up Cardio. She used the system to assist her in getting back to where she was physically before her pregnancy several years ago, stay in shape and encourage others to get in shape to lead healthier and longer lives. Check out Cranked Up Cardio and get in shape today.



Follow the story of Robert Crosby, who started off in humble and poor conditions in the small town of Hot Coffee, Mississippi. He went on to enlist in the Navy as cook, and is now a Lieutenant Commander in the U.S Navy who became a Nuclear Engineer, obtained a Masters Degree served as a military liaison for the Navy on Capital Hill, and has his success story documented in Navy records. It doesn't matter where you started if you want it bad enough.



Follow the story of author, speaker, and self esteem expert R. Ari Squires, who used the challenges and obstacles in her life as a to reason to push forward instead of falling back. She capitalized on her pain and experiences in order to motivate others to go after their dreams. Check out her E-book "The 12-step Dream Release" and new book "Release the Chains".




Don't go bankrupt by focusing on your excuses before you give it all you got.




Facebook link for Cranked Up Cardio https://www.facebook.com/crankedupcardio


 Facebook link for R. Ari Squires Release the Chains   https://www.facebook.com/groups/releasethechains/