Do you remember a key time in your life
when you felt put down, demeaned, and/or embarrassed for something you did? How did you feel about yourself afterwards?
How did you feel about the person who made you feel that way?
There will come a time in your life
when you will need to relieve some one of their duties, fire someone from their
job, shift their responsibilities, and/or end a relationship that no longer
serves its intended purposes.
When people:
- fail to do their job
- don't do a good job
- make a huge mistake that jeopardizes the reputation of
the organization and others
- have continuous mistakes that exposes a lack of
capability and/or an unwillingness to learn or correct the flaw
- exposes a character flaw that shows a lack of integrity
- fails to honor their promises and responsibilities
we may get emotionally energized in
a very negative way that causes us to identify the person as the problem
instead of addressing the action(s) they took or failed to take as the problem.
When we associate all that went wrong with the person instead of the act(s) we
will hold negative feelings such as animosity, retribution, and distrust towards
the person. Our actions and words will be directed toward the person vice the
act, no matter if they were purposeful, negligent, made due to ignorance, or
just mistakes.
A leader addresses the actions that
took place and how those actions affected others. A leader is able to differentiate
between the person and the act. A leader who addresses the act vice the person
is able to criticize the act and not demean the person. Someone who constantly addresses the person
may mistakenly belittle, embarrass, and/or shatter the confidence of the individual.
In the end we may value the person, but frown on their actions. We may still like or love the person, but are unable to tolerate the actions and habits of the person. Deep down we truly want to maintain the best parts of the person and ask their actions to leave the office or relationship.
A person is more likely to rebound
and do better when we address their actions as the issue and not them as a problem.
Yes, you may have to fire, relieve or break up with someone due to their poorly
executed actions and decisions they made. However, your emotions will less likely cause
you to hate, devalue, and criticize and/or drain you of energy when it’s
focused on separating from the actions of someone vice the person themselves.
Go ahead and fire them. Go ahead and
relieve them. Go ahead and break up with them. Go ahead and leave them. But
keep in mind that you did so because the individual is the master of his/her
actions, and although they can be identified as separate entities they can’t
coexist without each other.
Envision you level of effectiveness you could have if you could overcome your own leadership challenges.
What are the top (3) challenges you are facing in your organization ?
Are you interested you interested in putting yourself on the path to raising your level effectiveness to become a more influential leader for you and those you lead ?
I Have 21 ways to raise your level of influence and increase your effectiveness ! email me at lukemotivates@gmail.com
